17 Aug Being worth your word
What is integrity? Why is ‘integrity’ a key behaviour driving value for so many organisations? Why do we flip when our kids show any sign of integrity-less behaviour?
I think it is simple: Life is complex, and humans and the humanities are not an exact science. We need certain beliefs to hold on to. It is scary out there – who can we trust, where do we feel safe?
When we are surrounded by falseness, non-truths and unauthenticity, we suffer. Our ego’s go into overdrive to self-protect. On the other hand, if we have an environment where our leaders are worth their word; and they can be trusted and have integrity it is an emotionally and psychologically safe environment where we can do our best with ease.
That is the dream, right? – To be in a space where we all can do our best with ease.
In my twenty odd years of consulting and working within organisational climates and cultures, I have rarely experienced this phenomenon. Our rational brains tell us that everyone should be able to just show up like this – come to work and just do your best. It is an expectation from most self-driven managers. The reality is that people are just not wired like that – we cannot just switch the survival/threat response off. It takes true leadership to get us there…
So how do we do it? What helps humans feel safe enough to trust and be trusted, in other words: how do we as leaders behave with integrity?
- First of all, building trust and behaving with integrity means that what we say and what we do are aligned. This sounds so simple, yet we break trust on a daily basis, and we all struggle to manage relationships in one way or the other. Admitting to this vulnerability, is critical.
For example: “Sandele, you are important to me, and you are a critical team member. I realise that I sometimes might not say it enough, so when I ask you to share your results in the team it is because we value your input.” In such a statement you have shared the core message and explained your action’s intentions, and admitted that you are also human.
- Trust is broken when what we expected and what we experienced are misaligned. This means that a huge part of integrity creation is how we communicate our expectations: the real messages, as well as the unconscious messages which all leads to perceived expectations. So, check and double check expectations.
For example: “Sandy, after our previous chat I have put the desired outcomes in writing, please can you tell me what you understood these to be, I wouldn’t want us to misunderstand each other.” In this way you take the lead on taking ownership of your desired outcomes, and actively avoid potentially mismanaging expectations.
- State your intentions as clearly as possible, and as often as possible. This is not only to give direction and to reiterate your expectations, but also serves as a reminder to yourself on how easy it is to bugger things up. And then finally;
- Ask for feedback to ensure that your intentions created the desired outcomes. You might have a story you tell yourself on how wonderful your team think you are, however this might not be what they believe from their experience with you. Be brave enough to ask for specific feedback and input.
For example: “Hannes, my intention is to fully support our team, so we can all do our best. Do you feel supported? Is there anything that I can do less or more of, that could create this outcome?
While you are thinking about that, please also remember that if you at any point feel that you need to discuss issues regarding this project to please let me know.”
In this way you have given an open invitation, and asked for some front of mind input. Showing your vulnerability in this way – admitting that we also have shortcomings and asking others to help keep us honest and aligned, invites them to come closer – further creating an emotionally safe space.
I totally get that all of this might not be easy or come naturally, how about just giving it a try?